HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

~ As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
~ Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
~ Sing along at the opera.
~ Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
~ Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
~ Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
~ Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess."
~ When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! Third time this week!!!"
~ When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
~ Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do"
~ Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
~ Every time you see a broom, yell, "Honey, your mother is here"
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Thot for the Day:
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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