Hey ladies, I'm back! Hopefully for more than 5 posts. I'll update everyone later. I just want to post something I wrote yesterday right now.



Thursday night, I spent a couple hours at the wake of an old friend, Carlos. It was sad - and I felt bad. I hadn't talked to Carlos in over a year. He was one of the people I used to see at shows and we would talk on AIM alot about new bands, etc. In the past year, I stopped going to shows and haven't been online much. It was due to spending all of my time with my ex, John. Even though there were plenty of times where I just wanted to hang out with my friends, I ended up guilt tripped into spending my time with John. Now, I'm starting to go to shows again and I figured I'd see Carlos. I've been signing on to AIM more often, and figured maybe he'd talk to me about some new bands since I've been out of the loop. But now that won't happen. I hope he knew I thought he was a really cool guy. And I hope he's in a better place now.

I've lost quite a few people in my life, actually. And last night I was thinking - appreciate who you have while you have 'em. I don't think I've ever had a chance to say goodbye to anyone, but I hope they all know that I cared about them very much. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but I really appreciate a lot of the people in my life. I know I let bad shit get me down and I dwell on it - but I never forget what I have. I'm grateful for what and who I have in my life. I've had rough times with some people, but I love them very much. Yes, maybe sometimes I do come off as a cynical curmudgeon - but I have a big heart. And there's alot of peoples' names in it.