I took my dog for a walk today. It was so nice outside. I know that sounds odd, but I love this kind of weather. The breeze that whips up right before it rains and the eerie quality that there is in the air. There was no one outside and the only thing you could hear was the sound of the wind chimes on the front porch of the house at the very end of the block.It started raining and for some reason I didn't want to go inside, so I kept walking. I love the way it smells when it rains. It is the smell of wet dirt and wet grass and the added smell of the wet dog trotting along next to me. It's my thinking weather. I become even more pensive and I take the time to reflect about whats going on in my life.

Lately I've had a very strained relationship with my parents. Maybe its because of my age and the idea that they still have of me in their heads. Or maybe its because they don't want to let go and let me live and they still want to keep me as their little girl.

Sunday was father's day. I did the traditional Father's day things, bought him a gift and took him out to eat. Then we got in a fight with my mother at the restaurant and it was like any other sunday.

I used to envy other people's relationships with their mothers. As most people who know me know, my mother and I do not get along very well. I would sit and listen to my friends tell me how they were best friends with their mothers and how they could tell their mothers anything and I would think about how much I would love to be able to talk to my mom like that. Then they start telling me about their dads. How they never see them or how they don't even talk to them and I think to myself, thats not how it is with my dad.

I grew up being the epitome of a daddy's girl. My dad's nickname for me is, "mi reina" it literally means "my queen" but prolly is more along the lines of princess. Before my father started coming to church with us, I would come home and find a new movie every sunday. I was spoiled. We played basketball in the yard and occasionally soccer and sometimes a game of catch.

I wasn't that interested in sports, but for the sake of spending some time with my dad, I enjoyed it. Every year that the Chicago Bulls won the championship game I had been watching and cheering my team on with my dad. I watch the world cup soccer matches with him as well and I made sure to watch the superbowl this past february, even though the game started at midnight and didn't have the commercials that make the superbowl enjoyable. I did it, because it gave me something to be able to talk about with my dad.

My father is a man of few words. He's not a conversationalist, but he doesn't need to be. He's very good at listening and lets me ramble on about my day or about whatever new is going on in my life, all the while paying close attention and giving a few interjections here and there. While he may be a quiet man he does have a pretty good sense of humor. I like to think that that's where I get it from.

I also get my love of reading and of learning new things from my father. About a year or so ago my father started learning how to use a computer. It may sound silly to us, but we are a generation that grew up surrounded by computers. My father was raised in a small town in mexico during the late 1940's and 50's and they barely even had a television. He started out working on an old laptop that we had. He would come home from a long hard day at work and unwind, eat dinner and then go and practice his typing. Occasionally he would call me or my sister in to ask us questions and teach him the shortcuts that we know. This past Christmas we gave him a brand new laptop. I also tried to teach him how to use the internet and send me emails while I was away, but it didn't really work out. We got to take baby steps with these things.

My father isn't perfect and we have our disagreements. I also aquired his love of slamming doors when angry. He does little things that piss me off, but I know that I do too. Like I know that it pisses him off when I stay out late and don't pick up my cell phone. Things happen and you learn to live with them.

My dad and I may not have the perfect father-daughter relationship, but I think we have a pretty good one.