One good post, deserves another...
Well, I haven't written in a long time, cuz I've been at home wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. It's been a boring summer. I haven't gone out in a while, I'm bored out of my mind and I spend the entire day watching the television, because all of my friends live so far from me and I hate having to commute! I need my liscense! That way I could drive myself places and feel less lame and sheltered from the freaking world. I'm also stressing cuz I don't know what I am going to do about college, cuz I've pretty much screwed myself over with my grades. I know I'm not stupid I just am lazy and get into ruts a lot, but I swear on everything that I'm not going to do that this year! I want to go away for awhile and be by myself, in a new location somewhere where maybe I can be so busy that I don't have time to think about my petty problems and my issues. Somewhere where I can just start fresh. You know this is somethingI was hoping for with highschool, no one from my eighth grade class was coming to my highschool and I felt I could just be myself, but I fell into another vicious cycle, but I should stop talking now. Megan, I'm sorry about your mom, and I'm sorry that your dad is such a freaking dead beat (is dead beat one word or two?) that the only check you have received in years is for only six bucks. If you really need to talk about it you can call me. I don't know what kind of advice I can give you, but I know I can lend you an ear so you can vent a bit more privately if you want. That's all for now.
~KASTLE~
Saturday, August 09, 2003
WARNING: Long, Depressing Post Ahead...It's all coming out..
I'm not sure where to begin this shit. My thoughts might be a bit all over the place....
I'll just start off with my discovery the other night. I was in the bathroom cabinet and I dropped a tube of neosporin in an old box of Breath Right strips. So I pulled the box from the top shelf, grabbed the neosporin and looked inside. How lovely. Empty pencaps that were once filled with cocaine, and some booklets of matches. I had found one of these pencaps on the window sill, back around November. I was suspicious, but I tried not to think of it. I wasn't really shocked. But it hurt. I felt let down. I'm pretty sure it's just my mom because Scott takes alot of pills for his health (diabetes, high cholessterol, hig blood pressure, etc.). So, she'd rather snort coke than be there for her kids? I don't really want to make her sound bad. She's my mom, and I love her regardless of anything. I just feel like no one gives a shit. I try so hard to be good and not fuck up. I'm always worried about what others might think or feel of my words/actions. I don't want to hurt people like I've been hurt. You think anyone can return the favor? ( I do have some good friends I can trust, you all know who you are) I also realized how weird and fucked up everything is. Anyone who's been in my house-have you never noticed how plain it is? In all the places I've lived, there's never been any pictures, or family photos, or knickknacks or anything. I thought it was weird. My mom never puts up any of my art work or anything. Never came to any of my soccer games. Never goes to school meetings. My parents also never took us anywhere (zoo, museums, etc). We go out for dinner like 2x a year for our bdays, that's it. And they always say they'll do something and never do. I can't trust their word. They never buy me anything. I mean like "hey Megan, we were at the store, and we thought you could use this" never. My mom has been with Scott for 14 years, they aren't married. I suggested last week to her that they should. She said, "What? Why? Who put that idea in your head?" Nothing makes sense. All the answers she gives or doesn't give for that matter don't make sense. They don't think about me, they don't care. I am still grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Let me clear that up, I'm not an ingrate. It wears me down. I think I deserve so much more. I try so hard, I never do anything bad. The worst thing I ever did was shop lift from Kmart a few years ago. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, etc. I sleep on a broken bed, listen to a shitty cd player, wear bras one size too small, wear shoes w/ holes in them, etc. It just bothers me, everything I have is old, broken, holey. I think I deserve nice things, when I need them. But no one can be bother. I hardly ever ask for anything. I know I won't get it. "All I have is 3 dollars soo...." that's what I get. Yeah, maybe if the money didn't go towards coke or weed, I wouldn't wear the same pants all the time. I'M SO FUCKIN' TIRED OF EVERYTHING. I just might blow up and have a break down soon. Everyone says, "talk to them." It's so hard. I have all these feelings inside and I want to shout it all out, but I'm too scared so I have to shove it all in. I feel like I'm stuck. I don't know how to get out. I feel terrible. I'm angry, bitter, depressed, etc. all in one.
Back to the coke. I printed out a paper that had the affects of cocaine on it. Then I folded it up and put it in the box. Maybe that'll get my message across.
Maybe it's not right for me to post all this personal stuff. But this is like a journal. I wanted to get all my thoughts out. Maybe it will help me. I needed to organize my thoughts and shit. I just hate the fact that everything around me is so fucked up. I must be like urban white trash. I swear. It's not fair. But I guess that's where "Life isn't fair" factors in. Well I think that's enough for now.
In other news, Martin returns from math camp tomorrow. DMH is in less than a week. And Atreyu is right around the corner.
*virgins sold in quantity, herded by heridity. red neck burn out mid west mind, "who said date rape isn't kind?" porno-nation evaluation, what's this "time for segregation" libido, libido fascination, too much oral defecation. white trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy........*
I'm not sure where to begin this shit. My thoughts might be a bit all over the place....
I'll just start off with my discovery the other night. I was in the bathroom cabinet and I dropped a tube of neosporin in an old box of Breath Right strips. So I pulled the box from the top shelf, grabbed the neosporin and looked inside. How lovely. Empty pencaps that were once filled with cocaine, and some booklets of matches. I had found one of these pencaps on the window sill, back around November. I was suspicious, but I tried not to think of it. I wasn't really shocked. But it hurt. I felt let down. I'm pretty sure it's just my mom because Scott takes alot of pills for his health (diabetes, high cholessterol, hig blood pressure, etc.). So, she'd rather snort coke than be there for her kids? I don't really want to make her sound bad. She's my mom, and I love her regardless of anything. I just feel like no one gives a shit. I try so hard to be good and not fuck up. I'm always worried about what others might think or feel of my words/actions. I don't want to hurt people like I've been hurt. You think anyone can return the favor? ( I do have some good friends I can trust, you all know who you are) I also realized how weird and fucked up everything is. Anyone who's been in my house-have you never noticed how plain it is? In all the places I've lived, there's never been any pictures, or family photos, or knickknacks or anything. I thought it was weird. My mom never puts up any of my art work or anything. Never came to any of my soccer games. Never goes to school meetings. My parents also never took us anywhere (zoo, museums, etc). We go out for dinner like 2x a year for our bdays, that's it. And they always say they'll do something and never do. I can't trust their word. They never buy me anything. I mean like "hey Megan, we were at the store, and we thought you could use this" never. My mom has been with Scott for 14 years, they aren't married. I suggested last week to her that they should. She said, "What? Why? Who put that idea in your head?" Nothing makes sense. All the answers she gives or doesn't give for that matter don't make sense. They don't think about me, they don't care. I am still grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Let me clear that up, I'm not an ingrate. It wears me down. I think I deserve so much more. I try so hard, I never do anything bad. The worst thing I ever did was shop lift from Kmart a few years ago. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, etc. I sleep on a broken bed, listen to a shitty cd player, wear bras one size too small, wear shoes w/ holes in them, etc. It just bothers me, everything I have is old, broken, holey. I think I deserve nice things, when I need them. But no one can be bother. I hardly ever ask for anything. I know I won't get it. "All I have is 3 dollars soo...." that's what I get. Yeah, maybe if the money didn't go towards coke or weed, I wouldn't wear the same pants all the time. I'M SO FUCKIN' TIRED OF EVERYTHING. I just might blow up and have a break down soon. Everyone says, "talk to them." It's so hard. I have all these feelings inside and I want to shout it all out, but I'm too scared so I have to shove it all in. I feel like I'm stuck. I don't know how to get out. I feel terrible. I'm angry, bitter, depressed, etc. all in one.
Back to the coke. I printed out a paper that had the affects of cocaine on it. Then I folded it up and put it in the box. Maybe that'll get my message across.
Maybe it's not right for me to post all this personal stuff. But this is like a journal. I wanted to get all my thoughts out. Maybe it will help me. I needed to organize my thoughts and shit. I just hate the fact that everything around me is so fucked up. I must be like urban white trash. I swear. It's not fair. But I guess that's where "Life isn't fair" factors in. Well I think that's enough for now.
In other news, Martin returns from math camp tomorrow. DMH is in less than a week. And Atreyu is right around the corner.
*virgins sold in quantity, herded by heridity. red neck burn out mid west mind, "who said date rape isn't kind?" porno-nation evaluation, what's this "time for segregation" libido, libido fascination, too much oral defecation. white trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy........*
Friday, August 08, 2003
Highlight of the Day
So we were outside with Unit 3 and this kid named Adam was like "Oh Shit!" so the kid who he was playing with (Nick) was telling on him to the head counselor like "oooh, Dayna! Adam said s-h-i-t!!!" Then Adam was like "Noooo, I said Shit! it was funny, cuz i don't know if the kid realized that he was just spelling the word. urrrurrr!
Oh yeah, and another thing we could do to horschie's kid is "accidentally" put sand in his face (mouth, hair, eyes, even lunchbox) during field trips to the beach.
Oh yeah, Megan, yo dad's cheap fo sho.....peace
So we were outside with Unit 3 and this kid named Adam was like "Oh Shit!" so the kid who he was playing with (Nick) was telling on him to the head counselor like "oooh, Dayna! Adam said s-h-i-t!!!" Then Adam was like "Noooo, I said Shit! it was funny, cuz i don't know if the kid realized that he was just spelling the word. urrrurrr!
Oh yeah, and another thing we could do to horschie's kid is "accidentally" put sand in his face (mouth, hair, eyes, even lunchbox) during field trips to the beach.
Oh yeah, Megan, yo dad's cheap fo sho.....peace
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Wow, I can't get much lower than this...
Power Rangers Movie!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Anyways. I went to Woodfield Mall today. That was pretty, good 'cept that I had no money. We were in the bathroom and we heard this farting. You know, when you shit and there's lil farts. Me and Inette started cracking up. The woman kept farting liek that. It sounded so nasty. I ran outta the bathroom laughing hysterically. Later on David got me a plastic froggie from outta the change pond. It was funny. I should name it.
In other news, I cried myself to sleep last night. I fought it the whole night. But I broke down. I really hate when that happens. It really hurts. Maybe I sound like a baby, I don't know. I'm so confused now. I'm not sure how to feel. He made me happy, and as quick as he could make me happy, he makes me sad :(. I hate this. I know he has his problems. I don't wanna be one of them. So I'll just back off. I'm going to stop rambling now.
By the way....Bizznazz Meeting, minus the Bizznazz. New China Buffet (Addison and Elston Ave). Before 3 pm ($5 dolla special...shiiiiiiit). Sometime next week.
I'm out..
*each time i make my mother cry and angel dies and falls from heaven, when a boy is still a worm its hard to learn the number seven*
Power Rangers Movie!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Anyways. I went to Woodfield Mall today. That was pretty, good 'cept that I had no money. We were in the bathroom and we heard this farting. You know, when you shit and there's lil farts. Me and Inette started cracking up. The woman kept farting liek that. It sounded so nasty. I ran outta the bathroom laughing hysterically. Later on David got me a plastic froggie from outta the change pond. It was funny. I should name it.
In other news, I cried myself to sleep last night. I fought it the whole night. But I broke down. I really hate when that happens. It really hurts. Maybe I sound like a baby, I don't know. I'm so confused now. I'm not sure how to feel. He made me happy, and as quick as he could make me happy, he makes me sad :(. I hate this. I know he has his problems. I don't wanna be one of them. So I'll just back off. I'm going to stop rambling now.
By the way....Bizznazz Meeting, minus the Bizznazz. New China Buffet (Addison and Elston Ave). Before 3 pm ($5 dolla special...shiiiiiiit). Sometime next week.
I'm out..
*each time i make my mother cry and angel dies and falls from heaven, when a boy is still a worm its hard to learn the number seven*
Hey, long time no post. So, I've been at camp almost a week. It's been aight. I get my first paycheck this Friday. I just want to say some of the highlights of the day. .....okay, so one of the highlights was during lunch when this kids spilt his pringles on the floor when trying to share some with his friend. After he picked up most of the pieces on the floor, he continued to eat some of the crumbs right of the ground outside, so i had to tell him to stop and take away the rest of the pringles before they'd eat them, well, they were being kinda bad (threatening to throw a tennis ball at my "'giney". I think they meant vagina- another highlight) so i bribed them with the dirty pringles and ended up letting them eat them after they fell on the dirty floor. but they enjoyed them because when i gave it to them they were all like "Mmmmm, dirty pringles!!!!" so yeah, that was my highlight. Lana's highlight was funnier about this one girl peeing in her pants twice in one day, but I'll let her tell you. Another one was when we were naming the planets and this one boy said Planet X...seriously too.
I also want to tell you guys about me and Lana's plot against Mr. Horsch's and Ms. P's baby. If they ever have a baby (i still think it's illegal) So, since we are both counselors at this camp, we were just saying the things we would do and get away with if Horschmeistah sent his kid to our camp.
Ideas to Torment Child
1. hold head under water in the pool.
2. beat him with an ugly stick
3. lock in bath room
4. push down stairs
5. When helping put on clothes, button shirt all the way up so that it chokes him
6. Give mouthwash instead of soap to wash hands
7. Spit in juice cup
8. Put shoes on wrong feet
9. Give time-out just for looking at me
10 give permission to cross street when cars are coming
11. Leave him at park
12. Give him a dirty, wet towel when he comes out of the pool
13. Close elevator on him
14. Sneak bricks into his backpack
15. Make him hold the leaky juice jugs
It cracked me up so much I just want to share it with you all in case you guys also have any ideas......later, peace
I also want to tell you guys about me and Lana's plot against Mr. Horsch's and Ms. P's baby. If they ever have a baby (i still think it's illegal) So, since we are both counselors at this camp, we were just saying the things we would do and get away with if Horschmeistah sent his kid to our camp.
Ideas to Torment Child
1. hold head under water in the pool.
2. beat him with an ugly stick
3. lock in bath room
4. push down stairs
5. When helping put on clothes, button shirt all the way up so that it chokes him
6. Give mouthwash instead of soap to wash hands
7. Spit in juice cup
8. Put shoes on wrong feet
9. Give time-out just for looking at me
10 give permission to cross street when cars are coming
11. Leave him at park
12. Give him a dirty, wet towel when he comes out of the pool
13. Close elevator on him
14. Sneak bricks into his backpack
15. Make him hold the leaky juice jugs
It cracked me up so much I just want to share it with you all in case you guys also have any ideas......later, peace
Hey, long time no post. So, I've been at camp almost a week. It's been aight. I get my first paycheck this Friday. I just want to say some of the highlights of the day. .....okay, so one of the highlights was during lunch when this kids spilt his pringles on the floor when trying to share some with his friend. After he picked up most of the pieces on the floor, he continued to eat some of the crumbs right of the ground outside, so i had to tell him to stop and take away the rest of the pringles before they'd eat them, well, they were being kinda bad (threatening to throw a tennis ball at my "'giney". I think they meant vagina- another highlight) so i bribed them with the dirty pringles and ended up letting them eat them after they fell on the dirty floor. but they enjoyed them because when i gave it to them they were all like "Mmmmm, dirty pringles!!!!" so yeah, that was my highlight. Lana's highlight was funnier about this one girl peeing in her pants twice in one day, but I'll let her tell you. Another one was when we were naming the planets and this one boy said Planet X...seriously too.
I also want to tell you guys about me and Lana's plot against Mr. Horsch's and Ms. P's baby. If they ever have a baby (i still think it's illegal) So, since we are both counselors at this camp, we were just saying the things we would do and get away with if Horschmeistah sent his kid to our camp.
Ideas to Torment Child
1. hold head under water in the pool.
2. beat him with an ugly stick
3. lock in bath room
4. push down stairs
5. When helping put on clothes, button shirt all the way up so that it chokes him
6. Give mouthwash instead of soap to wash hands
7. Spit in juice cup
8. Put shoes on wrong feet
9. Give time-out just for looking at me
10 give permission to cross street when cars are coming
11. Leave him at park
12. Give him a dirty, wet towel when he comes out of the pool
13. Close elevator on him
14. Sneak bricks into his backpack
15. Make him hold the leaky juice jugs
It cracked me up so much I just want to share it with you all in case you guys also have any ideas......later, peace
I also want to tell you guys about me and Lana's plot against Mr. Horsch's and Ms. P's baby. If they ever have a baby (i still think it's illegal) So, since we are both counselors at this camp, we were just saying the things we would do and get away with if Horschmeistah sent his kid to our camp.
Ideas to Torment Child
1. hold head under water in the pool.
2. beat him with an ugly stick
3. lock in bath room
4. push down stairs
5. When helping put on clothes, button shirt all the way up so that it chokes him
6. Give mouthwash instead of soap to wash hands
7. Spit in juice cup
8. Put shoes on wrong feet
9. Give time-out just for looking at me
10 give permission to cross street when cars are coming
11. Leave him at park
12. Give him a dirty, wet towel when he comes out of the pool
13. Close elevator on him
14. Sneak bricks into his backpack
15. Make him hold the leaky juice jugs
It cracked me up so much I just want to share it with you all in case you guys also have any ideas......later, peace
I wish I had no heart
Sometimes I really do wish that. It would make things easier. I could be like most other people. Shit, I don't know what's wrong with me. This wave of depression has suddenly overcome me. I hate when that happens. Well, I'm gonna try hard. I still have about 3 more weeks of summer vacation. So I'm going to use them up to the fullest. I can't let this shit drag me down.
In other news the concert last night was ok. I had to wait through 5 bands to see Acumen Nation. Finally when they were on, some obnoxius bitch kept trying to shove me outta the way to get my spot...but I elbowed her and shoved her back. Beforehand I heard her say, "DOn't worry we'll be in front. Just wait til it starts." I was like "Ohhh Hellz nah, I know this bitch don't think she can take my spot when I been standing here during some shitty ass bands. SHiiiiit" And she sure didn't, I didn't even budge. Dumb bitch. Acumen Nation was awesome though. Theyre playing again next month, I'll prolly go. Well I'm out. Nite nite...
*i saw heaven and hell were lies, WHEN I'M GOD EVERYONE DIES*
Sometimes I really do wish that. It would make things easier. I could be like most other people. Shit, I don't know what's wrong with me. This wave of depression has suddenly overcome me. I hate when that happens. Well, I'm gonna try hard. I still have about 3 more weeks of summer vacation. So I'm going to use them up to the fullest. I can't let this shit drag me down.
In other news the concert last night was ok. I had to wait through 5 bands to see Acumen Nation. Finally when they were on, some obnoxius bitch kept trying to shove me outta the way to get my spot...but I elbowed her and shoved her back. Beforehand I heard her say, "DOn't worry we'll be in front. Just wait til it starts." I was like "Ohhh Hellz nah, I know this bitch don't think she can take my spot when I been standing here during some shitty ass bands. SHiiiiit" And she sure didn't, I didn't even budge. Dumb bitch. Acumen Nation was awesome though. Theyre playing again next month, I'll prolly go. Well I'm out. Nite nite...
*i saw heaven and hell were lies, WHEN I'M GOD EVERYONE DIES*
Sunday, August 03, 2003
It's Raining....But Not Men...Hallejuyah
Yeah, I forgot how to spell hallejuah...Well not like I use it often. ANyways, I'm bored and passing time before I leave for the Acumen Nation show. I hope it's good. Damn pop punk bands. I'm currently heating up a rice bowl in the microwave. Bon apetite! I'll post later!
*stronger than never ever before KMFDM is a drug against war!*
Yeah, I forgot how to spell hallejuah...Well not like I use it often. ANyways, I'm bored and passing time before I leave for the Acumen Nation show. I hope it's good. Damn pop punk bands. I'm currently heating up a rice bowl in the microwave. Bon apetite! I'll post later!
*stronger than never ever before KMFDM is a drug against war!*
Saturday, August 02, 2003
The Minute That Its Born It Begins to Die
There's not much left to love
Too tired today to hate,
I feel the empty
I feel the minute of decay
I'm on my way down
I'm on my way down now, i'd like to take you with me
I'm on my way down
The minute that it's born
It begins to die
I'd love to just give in
I'd love to live this lie
I've been to black and back
I've whited out my name
A lack of pain, a lack of hope,
A lack of anything to say,
There's no cure for what is killing me
I'm on my way down
I've looked ahead and saw a world that's dead
I guess that I am too
I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me....
~Marilyn Manson, "Minute of Decay" from "Antichrist Superstar" (1996)
I really like that song. I always listen to it when I feel kinda down. I feel that way now. But it's no big deal, I'll be fine soon. As for my day, I'm sure Kastle will post it. Since I'm lazy, she can do it. Yeah, I'm evil and lazy. Mwahahaha. Love you long time.
*i'm on my way down now, i'd like to take you with me.....*
There's not much left to love
Too tired today to hate,
I feel the empty
I feel the minute of decay
I'm on my way down
I'm on my way down now, i'd like to take you with me
I'm on my way down
The minute that it's born
It begins to die
I'd love to just give in
I'd love to live this lie
I've been to black and back
I've whited out my name
A lack of pain, a lack of hope,
A lack of anything to say,
There's no cure for what is killing me
I'm on my way down
I've looked ahead and saw a world that's dead
I guess that I am too
I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me....
~Marilyn Manson, "Minute of Decay" from "Antichrist Superstar" (1996)
I really like that song. I always listen to it when I feel kinda down. I feel that way now. But it's no big deal, I'll be fine soon. As for my day, I'm sure Kastle will post it. Since I'm lazy, she can do it. Yeah, I'm evil and lazy. Mwahahaha. Love you long time.
*i'm on my way down now, i'd like to take you with me.....*
Friday, August 01, 2003
You Rang?!
Ahem....you guys called me? Well shiiieeeeet no one told me. SOrry :(. And Latrice, BANGS?!??!. Lorday, I remember I had some mofackin' tunnel bangs goin' on back in the day. Shiiiiiieeet. Well today I went to Graceland Cemetery. I visited my grandparents. I went in the office to ask the lady where my grandfather was because I couldn't find him (he's buried right by Marshall Fields, but I couldn't find Fields' statue). I told the women I was looking for my grandfather and his name. She's like, "are you sure he's buried here?" What kind of question is that. I think I know where my dead relatives are buried. Why the hell would I go there and ask. I was like "Yes, Ive been here before but I don't remember." Like shit what I look too poor to have a relative buried there? Well shiiiiiet my family got several more plots there. (My uncle used to be a grave digger there back in the day.) But I was like, "oh hell no." That's just sad when you get discriminated against in a CEMETERY. Shit, honkey can't get no respect in a frickin' park full of corpses. Other than that it was a pleasant experience. I left some bracelets on my grandpa's headstone. My grandma's ashes are buried w/ him, but her name isn't on the headstone. I told my mom to get it done soon.
OK, enough about dead people. Hmm..plans for the weekend. Saturday I'm going to my lil cousin Steven's bday party. Then Sunday I'm going to see Acumen Nation, which is a FREE SHOW. WHich is right up my alley cuz I'm always broke. Remember folks, I accept any kind of currency or payment. *winks* I'm out. PS. I swear too much in my posts.
*our last grasp fallen away for good now, i know you're sorry...what else is new*
Ahem....you guys called me? Well shiiieeeeet no one told me. SOrry :(. And Latrice, BANGS?!??!. Lorday, I remember I had some mofackin' tunnel bangs goin' on back in the day. Shiiiiiieeet. Well today I went to Graceland Cemetery. I visited my grandparents. I went in the office to ask the lady where my grandfather was because I couldn't find him (he's buried right by Marshall Fields, but I couldn't find Fields' statue). I told the women I was looking for my grandfather and his name. She's like, "are you sure he's buried here?" What kind of question is that. I think I know where my dead relatives are buried. Why the hell would I go there and ask. I was like "Yes, Ive been here before but I don't remember." Like shit what I look too poor to have a relative buried there? Well shiiiiiet my family got several more plots there. (My uncle used to be a grave digger there back in the day.) But I was like, "oh hell no." That's just sad when you get discriminated against in a CEMETERY. Shit, honkey can't get no respect in a frickin' park full of corpses. Other than that it was a pleasant experience. I left some bracelets on my grandpa's headstone. My grandma's ashes are buried w/ him, but her name isn't on the headstone. I told my mom to get it done soon.
OK, enough about dead people. Hmm..plans for the weekend. Saturday I'm going to my lil cousin Steven's bday party. Then Sunday I'm going to see Acumen Nation, which is a FREE SHOW. WHich is right up my alley cuz I'm always broke. Remember folks, I accept any kind of currency or payment. *winks* I'm out. PS. I swear too much in my posts.
*our last grasp fallen away for good now, i know you're sorry...what else is new*
Thursday, July 31, 2003
What do you get when you mix, a pop tart, laziness and reruns?
You get my day. Well, whatever. Hey honky, what's going on? What about your other friends? People try calling you and you never call them back...damn you!!! Hmm...lets see, well today I spent the day as I pretty much do everyday...I wake up, I lounge around, I make plans for world domination, I clean the house, I feed the pooch and I watch some telly. Well I guess that pretty much sums up my day I guess...oh, I had an interesting conversation with short stuff, that, sadly enough was the highlight of my day. It's okay, it gives me some time to start researching the colleges I want to go to more. I have three choices, well sorta like four...one in chi-town, one in some other part of Illinois, another in New York, and another very faboo and posh one all the way in London!!! Woohoo...hopefully I get accepted there...that would be majorly awesome. well, I shall talk to you guys laterz.
Hasta Luego~Jenny Kastle~
You get my day. Well, whatever. Hey honky, what's going on? What about your other friends? People try calling you and you never call them back...damn you!!! Hmm...lets see, well today I spent the day as I pretty much do everyday...I wake up, I lounge around, I make plans for world domination, I clean the house, I feed the pooch and I watch some telly. Well I guess that pretty much sums up my day I guess...oh, I had an interesting conversation with short stuff, that, sadly enough was the highlight of my day. It's okay, it gives me some time to start researching the colleges I want to go to more. I have three choices, well sorta like four...one in chi-town, one in some other part of Illinois, another in New York, and another very faboo and posh one all the way in London!!! Woohoo...hopefully I get accepted there...that would be majorly awesome. well, I shall talk to you guys laterz.
Hasta Luego~Jenny Kastle~
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Warm Black Cherry Cola From Aldi's
Aww man a pow wow! I wanna go... And Melissa, thanks for totally leaving me outta that list. And I also wanna say oh lorday...and I know you're gonna say "shuuuuuuuuuuuuut uuuup!" LORDAY!
By the way I'm at Jenny's house now. I'm sleeping over. I'll write more tomorrow.
*there's not much left to lose, to tired today to hate, i feel the empty, i feel the minute of decay, im on my way down now i'ds like to take you with im on my way down....*
Aww man a pow wow! I wanna go... And Melissa, thanks for totally leaving me outta that list. And I also wanna say oh lorday...and I know you're gonna say "shuuuuuuuuuuuuut uuuup!" LORDAY!
By the way I'm at Jenny's house now. I'm sleeping over. I'll write more tomorrow.
*there's not much left to lose, to tired today to hate, i feel the empty, i feel the minute of decay, im on my way down now i'ds like to take you with im on my way down....*
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Hey, guys. I know it's late and I definitely have to get to bed soon but I just wanted to tell you all that I got the job! yay! thank you so much lana, I owe you one. I gotta get you something now......I am going camping this weekend in Wisconsin and my bro is gonna come with us. It's for the menominee pow-wow. it's gonna be my bro's first pow-wow. okay well i really have to go so that I can get my proper rest for tomorrow's day. oh yeah, and if you are reading this, will, que paso? i didn't see you at the place. maybe we'll catch up next time. until then.......peace.
Monday, July 28, 2003
I Want My $12,000 and Then Some
Hey again. I got another letter today from the Child Support agency saying they served my father again. (Note: he has been living in California for about 7 or 8 years? I don't even remember. I haven't seen him in about 8 years I think. He never pays child support. He lives in a trailor park w/ his mom. Damn, I hate him) Since he finally got a job (bum!) they served papers to him and his employer saying that money is supposed to be taken out of his paycheck and given to me. He's supposed to pay me $150 a month until my 18th birthday, April 26, 2004 ( I know that asshole's been waiting out for that). Plus delinquency payments (backed up support over 12,000). But he has to pay all the money he already owes me til he pays it all off. I just hope he finally gets thrown in jail if I don't get the money. And it's not exactly about the money. It's the support. My mom's always had to take care of us. We're half his too. She told him over 10 years ago that he could either pay child support, or visit us on the weekends and take us out..be a father...but he rarely ever visited us. Once inawhile he's pick us up, and we'd take the bus back to one of his crusty apartments in Uptown. I don't really count that as being a father. And he rarely paid child support. I just hate when fathers do that. If you're going to knock up a woman, have the decency to take care of YOUR child. Even if you can't stay w/ them, pay child support. Shit, people need to own up to things. It bothers me he doesn't give a shit about me, it bothers me he never wanted me, it bothers me he was never there, and it bothers me I have his DNA. But what bothers me the most is he never took any responsibility. He's got 2 kids in Chicago and one in Tennesse or something and he doesn't take care of any of us. He's living off his mom in California and just got a job. While there are people all around the world working and trying to support their families. I hate it. It's not fair that some people can fuck up other people's lives and just run away somewhere else and kick back and relax. Erg...
+MEH, I'll get over.....I have been for the past 14 years, MEH+
*how could you just close off your eyes, turn tail and run, YOU ARE THE GREATEST COWARD*
Hey again. I got another letter today from the Child Support agency saying they served my father again. (Note: he has been living in California for about 7 or 8 years? I don't even remember. I haven't seen him in about 8 years I think. He never pays child support. He lives in a trailor park w/ his mom. Damn, I hate him) Since he finally got a job (bum!) they served papers to him and his employer saying that money is supposed to be taken out of his paycheck and given to me. He's supposed to pay me $150 a month until my 18th birthday, April 26, 2004 ( I know that asshole's been waiting out for that). Plus delinquency payments (backed up support over 12,000). But he has to pay all the money he already owes me til he pays it all off. I just hope he finally gets thrown in jail if I don't get the money. And it's not exactly about the money. It's the support. My mom's always had to take care of us. We're half his too. She told him over 10 years ago that he could either pay child support, or visit us on the weekends and take us out..be a father...but he rarely ever visited us. Once inawhile he's pick us up, and we'd take the bus back to one of his crusty apartments in Uptown. I don't really count that as being a father. And he rarely paid child support. I just hate when fathers do that. If you're going to knock up a woman, have the decency to take care of YOUR child. Even if you can't stay w/ them, pay child support. Shit, people need to own up to things. It bothers me he doesn't give a shit about me, it bothers me he never wanted me, it bothers me he was never there, and it bothers me I have his DNA. But what bothers me the most is he never took any responsibility. He's got 2 kids in Chicago and one in Tennesse or something and he doesn't take care of any of us. He's living off his mom in California and just got a job. While there are people all around the world working and trying to support their families. I hate it. It's not fair that some people can fuck up other people's lives and just run away somewhere else and kick back and relax. Erg...
+MEH, I'll get over.....I have been for the past 14 years, MEH+
*how could you just close off your eyes, turn tail and run, YOU ARE THE GREATEST COWARD*
BORED, BORED, BORED, BORED, BORED!!!!!
Good lord am I bored out of my mind!!!! Today I woke up at the crack of noon, I then layed around until I finally decided to get up and clean. I cleaned downstairs and fed the pooch. I then fed myself cuz we had leftover tamales that we made on saturday, which might I add are the best tamales out there. by the by, that is not only my biased opinion, but the opinion of everyone who has ever tasted them. Anywho...I'm so bored...meh...lol that was for you Honks. well then I'm going out tomorrow so hopefully I have something interesting to post. oh, yeah, everyone must go buy their converse now, and get the classics before nike mess them up! Megan and I are going converse hunting sometime soon when I get some more moneys. well I must go now...nitey nite.
~KASTLE~
Good lord am I bored out of my mind!!!! Today I woke up at the crack of noon, I then layed around until I finally decided to get up and clean. I cleaned downstairs and fed the pooch. I then fed myself cuz we had leftover tamales that we made on saturday, which might I add are the best tamales out there. by the by, that is not only my biased opinion, but the opinion of everyone who has ever tasted them. Anywho...I'm so bored...meh...lol that was for you Honks. well then I'm going out tomorrow so hopefully I have something interesting to post. oh, yeah, everyone must go buy their converse now, and get the classics before nike mess them up! Megan and I are going converse hunting sometime soon when I get some more moneys. well I must go now...nitey nite.
~KASTLE~
GIDDY UP!!
Hey there. Where? THERE. In other news, I'd like to inform you that the Acumen Nation show Aug. 3 at the Metro is free. How ever I have discovered that 2 of the bands playing that night are of the POP PUNK genre. Boy that sucks. But why the hell would a couple of pop punk bands be playing with a kick ass industrial-metal band? I just don't know. The other 3 bands playing that night I am unsure about. It just irks me!
In otherer news, I updated my site. I changed the format. Unfortunately I couldn't make all the changed I wanted because my internet kept freezing when I'd try to do them. So it looks a bit plain for now.
I'd like to note: I AM STILL UNEMPLOYED. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEND ME MONEY, I EXCEPT CASH, COD (THAT'S CASH ON DELIVERY FOR YA'LL WHO DON'T KNOW), MONEY ORDERS, AND ANY SORT OF CHECKS. If you have a credit card, don't feel left out, you can just buy me things I need and then charge it. MMMM KAY? Or maybe if you just want to hire me, that's nice too. Thank you all and GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!
*if you peddle anethesia for the evil won't you give me some...escalation i'll be right out after i kill this girl's smile for fun*
Hey there. Where? THERE. In other news, I'd like to inform you that the Acumen Nation show Aug. 3 at the Metro is free. How ever I have discovered that 2 of the bands playing that night are of the POP PUNK genre. Boy that sucks. But why the hell would a couple of pop punk bands be playing with a kick ass industrial-metal band? I just don't know. The other 3 bands playing that night I am unsure about. It just irks me!
In otherer news, I updated my site. I changed the format. Unfortunately I couldn't make all the changed I wanted because my internet kept freezing when I'd try to do them. So it looks a bit plain for now.
I'd like to note: I AM STILL UNEMPLOYED. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEND ME MONEY, I EXCEPT CASH, COD (THAT'S CASH ON DELIVERY FOR YA'LL WHO DON'T KNOW), MONEY ORDERS, AND ANY SORT OF CHECKS. If you have a credit card, don't feel left out, you can just buy me things I need and then charge it. MMMM KAY? Or maybe if you just want to hire me, that's nice too. Thank you all and GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!
*if you peddle anethesia for the evil won't you give me some...escalation i'll be right out after i kill this girl's smile for fun*
Sunday, July 27, 2003
"No those aren't even hooker shoes, they're transvestite shoes."
Hey there. I got my shoes from ebay. They're 6 inches tall. They're so awesome. I made the mistake of showing them to my mom. She told me to return them and not wear them. Oh well, I'm keeping them. Mwahahahahaha
Today was fun. I went to Jenny's. Then we went to Baskin RObbins and then Hollywood Video. Then we watched some of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Then We went to Yanina's. Then back to Jenny's then back to Yanina's. We watched Dracula, it kicked ass. Then I got home at 11:45. Good times. Hmmm...I'm not too sure what to write about. I feel lazy now. Oh yea, Scott's going to Wisconsin for a week. I'll miss him. I wanna visit him when he comes back. Anyone interested in joining me!?
*i never loved you anyway, but i guess i don't care anymore*
Hey there. I got my shoes from ebay. They're 6 inches tall. They're so awesome. I made the mistake of showing them to my mom. She told me to return them and not wear them. Oh well, I'm keeping them. Mwahahahahaha
Today was fun. I went to Jenny's. Then we went to Baskin RObbins and then Hollywood Video. Then we watched some of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Then We went to Yanina's. Then back to Jenny's then back to Yanina's. We watched Dracula, it kicked ass. Then I got home at 11:45. Good times. Hmmm...I'm not too sure what to write about. I feel lazy now. Oh yea, Scott's going to Wisconsin for a week. I'll miss him. I wanna visit him when he comes back. Anyone interested in joining me!?
*i never loved you anyway, but i guess i don't care anymore*